LIFE AFTER WITHDRAWL.

            I got to talk to my younger and wise friend last night. It was a long phone call of three hours into the wee hours of the morning. It was cleansing.
            I dug my way out of the hole of xanax addiction that my Dr did to me for 30 years. Your brain doesn't know how to think and losing everything that we take advantage of. My mind was frozen in a state of terror and I couldn't stop the shaking all the way to the core of my body.This lasted for months. I could no longer drive, listen to music, watch tv, nor concentrate. They eyes of the people on tv took me into a state of horror. Nothing was normal. I questioned hourly how long is this going to last? They told me it would take months maybe years to heal. My brain was broken. I survived the terror of withdrawal. It lasted for months of being sick physically and emotionally from it.
          Outpatient helped me a lot in learning how to think and not think. Addiction is real it changed me without knowing it would. My heart goes out to anyone with any type of addiction. We don't need to be judged because we are suffering terribly. This wasn't of my own free will it was my Dr.s choice who led me to believe I could never be normal again without Xanax. I was medically disabled for thirty years and I am here to let you know that I beat it, I am well! I can't go back and regain the years that I lost but I can live fully in the present and future.
        So don't give up! You are the only one who can help yourself. You have to do this yourself and no one else can can make you better. This is to all who are fighting Alcoholism, mental illness, and Addiction. Don't think about the past in who did what to each other. Live in the present moment and not too far ahead to make yourself scared and nervous about things.
         They told me to Color so that's what I do I Color in Coloring books to relax and to take my mind off of other things. That's the problem is that we lose ourselves in our thoughts and it makes us scared of everything. Work it girl, you can do it. You can do almost anything to fight to regain control over your mind. It's a daily presence of mind. Stay in the moment. You can do this. You got this. Keep going! You are surviving. Until later,
         Nonny Dee 😎